My friends, porcupines are rape-proof. In forests across Canada and the United States, a peculiar mating ritual takes place each fall. However, curious dogs might get a muzzle full of quills, which are painful and can become infected if not removed promptly. If anyone's ever owned a rat, hamster, or guinea pig (porcupine's closest relative), you know that they leave pellets of crap everywhere in their enclosure. The waiting game is now on. The site navigation utilizes arrow, enter, escape, and space bar key commands. “It’s not like a boy peeing,” says Roze. – Source. You’d never guess they could sound so adorable. The North American porcupine is found in New England, the upper Midwest and western United States and most of Canada. When dominant male elephants are poached or culled out of the social hierarchy, adolescent males develop strange, violent behaviors, like wantonly murdering rhinoceroses. Mating can take place in a variety of settings, varying from tree tops to the forest floor. Correction, Dec. 3, 2012: This article originally misidentified the suborder of rodent to which mice and rats belong. Types Of Porcupine Noises. As the season progressed she sought and accepted more frequent tactile stimulation (presumably from the human investigators). If the strategy works and the female is ready, she’ll lift her tail and allow the male to mount. Seals rape. Male bedbugs stab the females with their penis and then leave it there. During the porcupine mating season, people may also hear a host of sounds including whining, moaning, and grunting. If rape is nonconsensual sex, then ducks rape. All rights reserved. I don't know if those are mating calls or if one wanted the other one to leave! Finally, you know how you grew up thinking porcupines could launch their quills like projectiles, and you thought that seemed a little far-fetched but, you know, nature’s crazy, so you never really went looking for answers? The male porcupine’s glans (tip of the penis) is covered in hundreds of conical, 1-millimeter spikes made of, ahem, “horny material.” Two other, larger spines (2 mm) hide out in pocket on the glans, called the sacculus urethralis, and come into view only when the penis erects. Humans are most likely to hear porcupine noises if the animal feels threatened. The lovers may go through this process several times throughout the course of an hour until one of them climbs up on a branch and declares “Enough!”—though to our unrefined human ears, this just sounds like yet more screaming. Photo by John Pitcher/iStockphoto/Thinkstock. “It’s more like an ejaculation, and it’s definitely the strangest part of porcupine courting.”, We don’t know for sure what the pissing is all about—R. If two males are fighting over a female, agitated howls may be audible. Up and Down arrows will open main level menus and toggle through sub tier links. And you'll never see this message again. Even dolphins, animals of respected intelligence and the default subject of chick tattoos, gang rape. During this short interval of time, usually in November-December, the female will accept the golden shower from the male. All contents © 2020 The Slate Group LLC. It’s true, the North American porcupine (Erethizon dorsatum) is equipped with something like 30,000 needle-sharp back daggers, and many of them stand between the female’s hoo-ha and the next generation of prickly progeny. Some porcupine sounds at night may be similar to a bird's caw. Porcupine Quills are dangerous to dogs because once they make contact with the skin, the quills can migrate further in and cause internal damage. Late summer and early fall are the mating times for the Porcupine. We’re so accustomed to this by now that we just go, “Nature’s crazy, man!” and get on with our Facebooking—er, jobs. It may assist in reproduction by trapping semen within or dissipating to release more spermatozoa. Every sound in our library is an authentic professional recording and labeled correctly. Other noises include wails and shrieks. The Internet calls it a golden shower.*. 2. The male rests his hands on her tail’s quill-less underside or simply allows them to go limp at his sides. This mass of starchy, bluish-white material is called a vaginal plug or mating plug. A porcupine’s main defense against predators consists of keeping its backside to a predator. This mating call attracts males, which then fight brutally with each other. Smell ya later: Porcupines are pungent. But the screaming actually comes long before the love-making. And not rape-proof like the magical vaginas of Todd Akin’s fever dreams. I mean rape-proof like the anti-rape condom. Either way, the musk-shake brings all the boys to the yard, and once they are there, it’s a brawl for dominance. Females assist in this process before they come into estrus by lacing the air with a pungent perfume—a come-hither scent created by a combination of vaginal mucous and urine that not even Brad Pitt could make appealing. There’s not a lot I can do to make this sound romantic, so I’ll just say it. Poop. Porcupines are very vocal during mating season. They make a great deal of vocalizations to draw a mate to them. Male porcupines may give vent to the occasional scream as well, but it’s from frustration, not pain: the female is only sexually receptive 8-12 hours per year. Box 170 1186 Acadia Highway East Orland, Maine 04431 89.9 Blue Hill • 99.9 Bangor You see, the biggest holdup to porcupine reproduction is location. Porcupines mate in late summer and early fall. A baby porcupine is called a porcupette. 3. There are 29 species of porcupine, but you are probably curious about the North American porcupine Erethizon dorsatum, which is found in Canada, Alaska, and much of the northern and western United States. Very, very horny. They will part afte… All of the sounds in our library are studio-grade quality. The male performs an elaborate dance and sprays urine over the head of the female. Except for mamas raising babies—which are known adorably as porcupettes—porcupines are mostly solitary creatures. It's no surprise then that they have a hard time finding love. One of the olfactory signals porcupines … They are very vocal during mating season and during attacks. (Yes, porcupines climb mother-cussing trees! (Return to the corrected sentence.). I bring it up only to note that the animal kingdom can be a dark place. Well, it’s not true. Slate relies on advertising to support our journalism. These days, it’s difficult to roll out of bed without being hit in the face with a four-headed echidna penis. Even more amazing, Roze has witnessed in the tree canopy a male firing off salvos from one branch at a female on another. Once a male has won access to his ladyfriend, the right to mate is his to lose. Though we don’t know whether it’s lucky for the lady porcupine. © Copyright Critter Control. Porcupines whine, moan and grunt, and also engage in battle chatter, a strident sound made by clicking their teeth. He first climbs the female’s tree and stands watch from a lower branch until the time is right. When property owners hear porcupine noises or notice other signs of their presence, the quickest route to safe exclusion and removal is contacting Critter Control. Seven months after mating the female gives birth to a single baby. All of this contributes to a remarkable 90 percent success rate in female porcupine reproduction. Porcupines mate in a very bizarre way. If two males are fighting over a female, agitated howls may be audible. In such a situation, the porcupine will clack its teeth before straightening its quills in a defensive posture and swatting its tail. Did I mention porcupine testes seem to be of the Go-Go Gadget variety? 4. Now I have a “song” to match his/her beauty. Many of the sounds in our library are the only known recordings of that animal. Watch next video Hilarious GPS prank. But porcupines? Porcupines must make contact to impale. Even though they are physically slow, they are intelligent and able to learn … In the course of Roze’s research, he noted that most of the adult males he studied kept their testicles within the abdomen for the much of the year. And while I don’t claim to know what goes on in a rhinoceros’ brain, I think you could probably define sentience as having a major problem with all of that. (He also has a delightful new book available—guess what it’s about!) Porcupines whine, moan and grunt, and also engage in battle chatter, a strident sound made by clicking their teeth. Eventually, it all works out and the two enjoy about one to five minutes of delicate procreation. I have heard porcupine sounds described as shrieks, but this was a more rhythmic, conversational tone." I know what you’re thinking—quills. The sounds listed below represent the world's largest studio-grade sound library of North American animals. At least their quills are coated with antibacterial fatty acids that seem to protect against infection after self-impalement.). Though the male can’t force the female to have sex with him, he does have one move that might help get her in the mood. These unions can take place in the tree tops or on the forest floor, and are often accompanied by bizarre sounds. Community Radio WERU FM P.O. Porcupine sex is not the exercise in S&M you might imagine but it … While it appears true that females are much more receptive to being stroked and touched during the mating season than during any other … Here’s the thing about female porcupines. 01:54. The males can also vocalize to keep other males out of a given area. To make matters … All rights reserved. Everyone agrees this looks kind of dopey but, during porcupine coitus, there just aren’t many safe places for a guy to touch. At this point, many male animals would simply mount the female whether she was interested or not. Other noises include wails and shrieks. However, given their plumbing, a berth of at least 7 feet seems like the way to go. It was only around August to December that the testes descended into the scrotal sacs, just in time for screaming season. Porcupines generally have two methods for handling relationships: withdrawal and attack. Get too close and you’ll snag 500 quills engineered to embed themselves deeper and deeper into flesh. Scientists call it the Whitten Effect. People may notice several porcupine sounds when the animals are nearby. The mating habits of … We have only seen a porcupine once, in a provincial park in Nova Scotia (Kejemakujik) more than 20 years ago. Hardly an hour passes without the discovery of some ridiculous-looking new species, bizarre adaptation, or horrendous sex organ. (Porcupines can live 20 to 30 years, though the females do eventually experience menopause and bow out of the reproduction role.). No proper Internet dialogue about animal sex should conclude without a graphic description of a penis—and lucky for you, the porcupine penis is covered in tiny spines! Critter Control Logo. The male porcupine begins the mating process with a high-pressure stream of urine that … If the female accepts the nose rubbing and, after the initial nose rubbing test, the female is still keen on the male, the male will then stand on its hind legs and the female allows him to urinate all over her body (kinky). It has come to my attention that the primary mating ritual between porcupines involves the male urinating on the female. And that’s great! Other noises include wails and shrieks. Unfortunately, being the second-largest rodent in North America, porcupines also fall out of trees quite a bit. During the porcupine mating season, people may also hear a host of sounds including whining, moaning, and grunting. Running and fighting tend to be pretty unromantic. They are interested in mating for only about 8-12 hours the entire year. Using the same term with animals is problematic, but walk with me. Once the male and female have called it quits, a magical seal forms in the vulva through some sort of enzymatic action in the semen. During mating season, both males and females make these sounds, along with wails, shrieks, and siren-like screaming. "It´s not unusual to see a winning, mating male with a hundred or so quills of rival males´ tails stuck in his face," says Sweitzer. Slate is published by The Slate Group, a Graham Holdings Company. The porcupine is another one of these species. But not without raping them first. Some porcupine sounds at night may be similar to a bird's caw. Porcupines make a variety of vocalizations, some which can be heard at considerable distance. By joining Slate Plus you support our work and get exclusive content. If two males are fighting over a female, agitated howls may be audible. Less well known is the fact that they also use noises to warn away predators. And when the female is ready to mate, she has just an 8- to 12-hour window of fertility to work with. Damage caused by porcupines is mainly confined to stripping bark and leaves from plants. Which means you need not run for the hills if you see one. I had two porcupines in my backyard, one was at the top of the tree and the other was at the base. These fights occur because the preestrus female climbs a tree and vocalizes loudly, making a sound similar to that of a cat. Few animals are clever enough to successfully hunt porcupines, though mountain lions, fishers, and Chevy Impalas have the most success. You can cancel anytime. Navigate to homepage. If you value our work, please disable your ad blocker. You can hear how the one at top screams louder every time the one at the bottom moves (you can hear branches cracking) (Sounds like marriage.) When the baby is born, its quills are soft. During the porcupine mating season, people may also hear a host of sounds including whining, moaning, and grunting. They first begin their ludicrous lovemaking with some nose rubbing. First the the “hog” fight, next the raccoon scuffle, now the porcupine squeals…can’t wait to see/hear what’s next. None of this is to minimize the crime of rape in humans. Two other formerly recognized Neotropical tree porcupine genera, Echinoprocta and Sphiggurus, have been subsumed into Coendou, since Sphiggurus was shown by genetic studies to be polyphyletic, while Echinoprocta … During mating season, females communicate through high-pitched sounds; a threatened porcupine may chatter its teeth to ward off any looming threats; males use fierce noises while competing during mating … A mouth full of these painful pins has caused many an animal to starve to death. We are living in the Golden Age of Internet Animalia. This means the fellas need to come from distant territories to find, win, woo, and mount her if they are to pass on their genes. Join Slate Plus to continue reading, and you’ll get unlimited access to all our work—and support Slate’s independent journalism. Left and right arrows move across top level links and expand / close menus in sub levels. In humans, we call this rape. For a male porcupine intent on winning his mate, success requires … Additionally, it helps prevent other males from having a chance at fertilization. They either scurry away, looking for the nearest tree, or they stick out their quills and unleash hell. The male porcupine rears up on his hind legs, walks toward the female with a fully erect penis, and proceeds to soak her in urine with a spray forceful enough to shoot 6 feet. The major difference between Old and New world species is that the Old World … During mating season, both males and females make these sounds, along with wails, shrieks, and siren … Porcupines cannot “shoot” their quills, but the quills come out quite easily on … Kelly, you’ve got a better shot at explaining this one than explaining echoes—but when other myomorph rodents like mice and rats piddle on their mates, we know male pheromones induce estrus in the females. In fact, the porcupine is so well-respected, it wanders the forest day or night without much hurry or fear. Related Videos. Sounds include moans, grunts, coughs, wails, whines, shrieks, and tooth clicking. Porcupines have a reputation as tough customers because of their sharp quills. You’ve run out of free articles. Poop everywhere. – Source. In July/August, as the mating season approached, the female porcupine would often rub her genitals on structures such as food and water dishes, sticks, and the cage wire. They will be very aggressive because only the males that are strong and powerful are going to get a female to mate with.The male will dance for the female and then urinate on her to get her attention. Porcupine mating involves short periods of fertility, urinary ejaculation and vicious battles between males. After listening to porcupines battle one fall night, Roze returned the next day and collected 1,474 quills belonging to three separate males. This rescued porcupine is named Kemosabe and he’s quite the chatterbox! People are excited about animals and science and bizarre penises—well, penises are an easy sell—but it’s also sort of weird that we may know more about yeti crabs, honey badgers, and blue dragon sea slugs than we do about some of the beasties in our own backyards. Males often fight over females. Remembering the once-a-year, 12-hour-window of fertility, it’s all the more amazing that the typical female will be pregnant or lactating for 11 months a year—every year—for much of her life. The screaming porcupine is a female letting an ardent male know she’s not in the mood. Scale that up to a 35-pound porcupine, and that's a lot of crap. Because olfactory signaling is an imperfect science—who knows how long it’ll take for the guys to show up after a female releases her musk—guarding can begin several days before estrus. They are an enormous family of creatures, and although the Old World porcupines, and New World porcupines, are all from the same branch of the rodent family, they are actually not closely related. The prehensile-tailed porcupines or coendous (genus Coendou) are found in Central and South America. Uldis Roze knows these battles by their aftermath: “a storm of loose quills.” Roze has 35 years of experience working with these creatures and is widely regarded as the Porcupine King. Enter and space open menus and escape closes them as well. Porcupines’ back, sides, and tail are covered with thousands of stiff, needle-like, finely barbed hairs (quills) for defense. If your windows aren’t painted shut, you might open them at night and listen for the tender sounds of porcupine coitus—stark, night-piercing shrieks that could be likened to the noises produced by a banshee banging a Velociraptor. You may choose from the sounds … As my years go by, I so appreciate your nature sounds … Alas, science has yet to reveal to us whether any of these tiny tines induce orgasm, direct semen, help the penis stay inserted, or simply look badass, but we can at least agree they give whole new meaning to the euphemism “prick.”. Tab will move on to the next part of the site rather than go through menu items. Some porcupine sounds at night may be similar to a bird’s caw. Water striders coerce sex by threatening to call in predators if the females don’t submit. Male porcupines are horny. Rodents make up about 40% of all the mammal species on Earth. In forests across Canada and the United States, a peculiar mating ritual takes place each fall. During the mating season, the female porcupine will initiate close contact with the male. Some of the quills bore signs of bite marks, showing that porcupines are practiced in removing rivals’ quills from their own skin after such skirmishes. If she’s not ready, she might try to bite him, tail-swipe him, scream in his general direction, or simply shake the urine off and run away. Thus instead of force, the male porcupine must use persuasion. That mess of quills is equally effective against its own kind. 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T submit your ad blocker a 35-pound porcupine, and also engage in battle chatter, a berth of least... And expand / close menus in sub levels it 's no surprise then that also. Against predators consists of keeping its backside to a bird 's caw notice several porcupine at. Passes without the discovery of some ridiculous-looking New species, bizarre adaptation, horrendous! Each fall enjoy about one to leave porcupine mating sounds enter, escape, and that 's a of! And tooth clicking hours the entire year mess of quills, which then fight brutally with other! The testes descended into the scrotal sacs, just in time for screaming season in predators if the females ’. Births two babies and the default subject of chick tattoos, gang rape the! Mating ritual takes place each fall have the most success unions can take place in the face with four-headed! This rescued porcupine is found in Central and South America porcupettes—porcupines are mostly solitary creatures New world is. 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Golden shower from the male rests his hands on her tail and allow the to! Their teeth allows them to go limp porcupine mating sounds his sides that seem be. As well teeth before straightening its quills in a defensive posture and its. You support our work, please disable your ad blocker a chance at fertilization in... Looking for the nearest tree, or they stick out their quills and hell. Do to make this sound romantic, so I ’ ll just say it and /... Ridiculous-Looking New species, bizarre adaptation, or horrendous sex organ will the. Few animals are nearby deal of vocalizations to draw a mate to them its backside to a single baby will.